I GIVE

 Motherhood is one of the hardest and most rewarding roles a woman takes on.  When a woman becomes a mother, she transitions from "me" to "ma".  Without a thought her focus shifts to the child within her and his/her future.  She doesn't realize it at the time, but her perception of life is changed forever.  One of the first things moms give up is themselves.  Everything from pregnancy on revolves around what's good for the baby.  This story is about a very special mother, Mary, and a unique baby named Jesus.

I've always thought of the birth of Jesus through God the Father's eyes, but this time I considered it from Mary the mother's point of view.  The Bible tells us that there was nothing "normal" about Jesus:  Born of a virgin, not knowing a man, yet Mary found herself expecting. Though her condition would cause hardship in her life, she accepted the gift of the Child, saying "...be it unto me according to your word..." (Luke 1:38).  She gave up her plans, compromised (if not ruined)her reputation and gave her body to receive the gift of life ("...I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life..."John 14:6). The first thing moms give up is themselves.

We know the story of the birth of Jesus, but there is no record of his life as a child.  The earliest report in the Bible is of a pre-adolescent, 12 year old Jesus.  You remember: Joseph, Mary and Jesus made the trip to Jerusalem to pay tribute; as they made the trip back home, they realized that Jesus was missing from the caravan.  They ended up going back to Jerusalem to find Jesus teaching in the synagogue.  Joseph's reaction is not recorded, but Mary had a typical, motherly response (Luke 2:48-50): Paraphrased, she said "Jesus, you scared me to death!  Didn't I tell you about wandering away from me?  And what do you think you're doing here in the synagogue.  Boy, what's wrong with you?"  Jesus answered, "Don't you know that I must be about my Father's business?"  Now, if that had been me and my mom, that response would have gotten me a slap on the mouth. But Mary, though she didn't understand, listened and "...kept all these sayings in her heart" (Luke 2:51).  Sometimes, if we moms take a breath and consider the statement and its source, we may be reminded of a promise that God gave us concerning our child(ren).  You look at this person in exasperation.  Remember, this is still that precious, beautiful baby that you so loved 12 years ago; the same baby that you planned such a bright future for; the same baby that you sacrificed (your plans, your finances, your figure, your heart) for. The second thing mothers do is give of themselves.
 
The next time we hear about Jesus and Mary, he is 30 years old and performing his first miracle. Then he's 33 and preparing for the passion. I can only begin to imagine what Mary must have felt as she watched her son being beaten and mocked; I picture the pain and terror in her eyes as she watched them nail him to the cross; In my mother's heart I can feel the anguish and despair and helplessness she must have felt when they thrust the spear into his side and her heartache and tears as the blood and water flowed from his body.
What I can't imagine is her revelation of the vision and purpose for her son.  Neither can I fathom the strength she drew from that revelation as she stood and watched and said nothing. I would have screamed, "No, not my baby!" I would have begged, "Please, stop them!  Help my son!"  Sobbing, I would have reached for him; I would have attacked his persecutors in an attempt to keep him from such torture and looming death.  But May did none of these.  She understood this was why Jesus came to the world. The words of the angel and the sayings of Jesus that she'd kept in her heart throughout the years now made sense and she knew this thing must happen.

I am reminded of my son's departure for college.  It was traumatic for me.  We live on the East coast and I was sending my son to school on the West coast.  I was nervous about it, but I knew it was a good move for him, for his future.  Too soon, it seems, it was time for him to leave.  We drove to the airport; we sat in the airport engaged in light conversation as we waited for them to announce his flight.  Someone walked over to us and asked if we were waiting for such-and-such flight.  We answered yes.  He said they were boarding and ready to take off, if my son ran he could still make the flight.  There was no time for anything but quick good-byes and hugs.  He picked up his bags and began to walk towards the boarding dock, away from me.  My heart sank, and my mind was spinning with thoughts:  "Oh, my God.  My baby is leaving! What was I thinking, letting him go all the way across the country? I tried to hold it together, but my pain was too great. I began to shake and cry. Thank God my dad had come with us, so he drove us back home.  It seemed like the longest, loneliest one-hour ride I'd ever taken. My son wasn't being tortured or mocked or crucified to death.  He was only leaving for college, but it was so hard and hurtful to let go. I didn't want to give.

How did Mary do it?  She knew that she had to let her son--her baby--fulfill his purpose. I believe she sobbed, head bowed and hands clinched at her belly as she gave her son to the ages.  The final thing moms must do is say "I give".  After the stretch marks and sleepless nights; after the arguments and sacrifice; after the hopes and dreams, the time comes when you have to lift up your hands and say "I give".  I give my child the liberty to live his/her life on his/her terms; I give him/her to the world, with all its trials and pitfalls; I give myself permission to be emotional over this transition without interferring with it.
 
Children are gifts from God, but they are gifts that is meant to be shared. They are gifts of love, and the only way to share love is to give it. God did it (John 3:16). Jesus did it (Luke 23:46). Mary did it (John 19:25). We can do it, too.